Patiently Waiting

Hey all!

So this is attempt numero 2 at trying to keep my blog alive, whether people read it or not. But either way, it's all good.

This week has been a pretty intense one. I'm kind of delirious right now (explanation on it's way) so forgive me if my babbling makes no sense at all. But the reason for what, to me, seems to be a drunken stupor is I have had the flu practically all week and I have been hopped up on all sorts of meds thanks to the helpful advice of my sister. She suggests that I keep taking nyquil every 4 hours so that I knock out, then my body can rest and heal. BUT now, the nyquil isn't knocking me out its just making me really high. LOL. So I have stopped taking all meds and am just relying on vitamins and fluids. I am also trying to rely on laughter (I been watching a lot of George Lopez.)

Anyways, last week I talked about wanting to go home to Seattle. Well, it's official. I am coming home at the end of the month. I don't have a job or an apartment but I have faith that I am making the right decision. So I am not worried about what will happen. What I need to do is just focus on my goal; become a hot spicy superstar! With the way things are right now, financially and physically, it is really hard to stay positive and focussed. But I am really lucky to have a great support system. I really commend my parents for putting up with my crap and complaints about life. I also thank them for being so tough on me and pushing me to "man up" (even though I'm female" lol). I know I let myself slip into self pity all the time. It's easy to do. No one is perfect, but I am still learning. But as my folks have pointed out to me on numerous occasions, I could have it a lot worse. That I am really quite lucky compared to a lot of people. So out of respect to those who are struggling harder than me, I will try harder to live my life without complaints. Though sometimes it feels like nothing could top what I am going through, I will swallow all self inflicted negativity and march on into the battlegrounds of life. I think that everyone should do the same. If you really think about it, we are all so lucky to be here and to have so many gifts and to have eachother.

Alright, getting a bit mushy. So I will change the subject. On a final note...No matter how badly you want something. Never sacrifice yourself or your dignity to get it. If someone offers you the world for a little action, it really isn't worth it and, no matter how much influence, power, or money that person has, neither are they. Find your own way to your dream. If people are willing to help you because they believe in your talents, thats great. But if someone only wants to help you because they think they can get something out of you, forget about it. There are a lot of dirty nasty disgusting people out there that will try to manipulate you. Just be strong and help yourself. Because you are the only person that can truly help yourself.

Did any of this make sense? I hope so. I might read this later and go WTF?!? But I know on some level, I made some kind of point!

Punto y peace!